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November 26, 2003

So Someone Tell Me The Point?

Why in the name of all that is holy, would our esteemed imbeciles in the United States Senate pass such a ridiculous end-run around REAL mechanisms to crush spam? Could it possibly be because the spammers have money, and we poor schmucks have nothing but our vote? Or could it be that the staffers and congressional critters are too STUPID to actually have read the bill before voting on it? So computer literate that they think, "duh, well that looks like a good idea..." and press the wrong button? You decide, but I predict an increase in junk email after this rotten bill goes into effect.

From Good Morning Silicon Valley

Christmas came early for the folks at the Direct Marketing Association this year. On Tuesday afternoon the U.S. Senate unanimously approved the Can Spam Act, the spam-friendly anti-spam bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives last weekend (see "CAN-SPAM: Thanks for nothing..."). Full of loopholes and difficult to enforce, the bill will supercede some 37 anti-spam laws enacted by other states, including a bill in California that requires companies to have consumers' consent before sending commercial e-mail. It's a lousy piece of legislation that allows e-mail marketers to bury us in spam, as long as they include an opt-out mechanism of their own choosing in each unsolicited message. That mechanism could be as simple as an unsubscribe mailto, or as complex as an opt in/opt out menu located on the marketer's Web site which we will legally be required to visit in order to opt-out. Which one do you think the spammers will be more likely to choose? CAN-SPAM is a real disappointment and it's a pity President Bush is expected to sign it into law when it finally lands on his desk in December. Said California State Senator Debra Bowen (D-Redondo Beach), who authored California's "opt-in" anti-spam law: "It's the biggest turkey the president will see all week and he should stuff it the moment it lands on his desk."

Dancing Bin Laden?

A reader tip to the Dark Ranting website produced this lovely missive from our friends at MSNBC . Paul suggests that we change voice chips with Barbie so Osama says "Math is Hard" and Saddam says "Let's go shopping."

JERUSALEM, Nov. 26 — Israeli customs have seized a shipment of 450 singing, dancing Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein dolls under a law banning incitement, an official said on Wednesday.

The battery powered figurines were confiscated at the northern port of Haifa, Customs Authority spokeswoman Idit Lev-Zerahiya said.
     
 An Israeli Arab businessman from the northern village of Qafr Qara admitted under questioning to importing the 400 copies of the al-Qaida leader and 50 of the deposed Iraqi ruler, as a “gimmick” for sale to Jews and Arabs, a customs statement said.

 “The law doesn’t exactly say that you cannot own a bin Laden doll, but neither he nor Saddam Hussein are exactly good educational role models,” Lev-Zerahiya told Reuters.
       The ship carrying the toys from China also contained 450 Teletubby dolls, which agents are examining to see if they are counterfeit, the statement said.
       While Palestinians have held some demonstrations in support of bin Laden there have been no mass displays of affection for the accused terror mastermind.
       Most Israelis abhor Saddam as an enemy who fired missiles at the Jewish state during the 1991 Gulf War. Popular sentiment in the Palestinian areas is largely in favor of the deposed Iraqi leader, especially for his support of the Palestinian cause.

November 21, 2003

You want your marriage bible style?

United States: Fundies in the US are getting in a tizzy over the Massachusetts Supreme Court's decision that limiting a cosy arrangement of one's financial affairs to opposite-sex couples is unconstitutional, so some wag has consulted the Bible to determine how to redefine marriage to keep them happy:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's
Word and His standards will be honored by our government.

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.(Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden.(Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10) *

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

This Man Said What We All Think

Although we hate spam and would LOVE to do the following things to them, I guess we can't tell anyone...

From the United States Attorney for the Northern District of CA

November 21, 2003

The United States Attorney's Office for the Northern District of California announced that Charles T. Booher, 44, of Sunnyvale, was arrested by FBI agents in Sunnyvale yesterday morning on a criminal complaint charging him with making death threats against employees of a Canadian Internet advertising company in violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 875(c) (Threatening Interstate or Foreign Communications).

According to the affidavit supporting the criminal complaint, from May to July 2003, Mr. Booher repeatedly made threats by email and telephone against employees of the Canadian company which Mr. Booher wrongly believed to be the source of unsolicited email advertising he had received about penile enlargement medication.  In particular, the affidavit describes the following threats, among others: 

•In a May 31 email, Mr. Booher stated that he was "sending a package full of Anthrax spores to your address" and would "put a bullet in your head"

•In a June 14 email, Mr. Booher threatened to first "disable" a named employee by a "quick 22 calibre shot to [his] lower spine," then torture him with a "power drill and ice pick" after subduing him with "duck tape and plastic shrink wraps."  

•In a voice mail message, Mr. Booher threatened to castrate all employees kill them "with a shotgun and thirty rounds of ammunition and a hunting rifle" if they failed to "get your [profanity] popups off my screen."

•In another voicemail message, Mr. Booher informed the employees that he had "a nice collection of weapons" and would "hunt [them] down" in "sunny Canada" unless they removed him from an "email list."

According to the affidavit, Mr. Booher persisted in making these threats even after Sunnyvale Police Department officers visited him and ordered him to cease.

Mr. Booher, who faces a maximum statutory penalty of five years imprisonment and a $250,000 on the charge, was released on a $75,000 bond by U.S. Magistrate Judge Richard Seeborg in San Jose.  A preliminary hearing is scheduled for December 11, 2003 at 2:00 p.m. before U.S. Magistrate Judge Howard R. Lloyd in San Jose.

A complaint simply contains allegations against an individual and, as with all defendants, Mr. Booher must be presumed innocent unless and until convicted. In separate and unrelated cases as part of the Justice Department's Operation Cyber Sweep (see companion press release), two defendants pled guilty to the trafficking in counterfeit computer software on November 10, 2003, before U.S. District Court Judge Ronald M. Whyte.  The defendants, Malinda Chan and Li Jun Lei, each pled guilty to Superseding Informations charging trafficking in counterfeit computer software products in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 2320(a).  As part of their plea agreements, Ms. Chan and Ms. Lei each agreed to the forfeiture of approximately $30,000 of proceeds from their criminal activities.  Each faces a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment and a $2 million fine, although the actual sentences will be determined by the United States Sentencing Guidelines, which take into account a number of factors, and will be imposed in the discretion of the judge.  Sentencing before Judge Whyte is set for Ms. Lei on February 17, 2004 at 9:00 a.m., and for Ms. Chan on February 24, 2003 at 9:00 a.m.

These investigations were overseen by the Computer Hacking and Intellectual Property (CHIP) Unit of the United States Attorney's Office.  Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher P. Sonderby, Chief of the CHIP unit, is prosecuting the cases against Ms. Chan and Ms. Lei.  Assistant U.S. Attorney Shashi Kewalramani from the CHIP unit is prosecuting the case against Mr. Booher.

A copy of this press release may be found on the U.S. Attorney's Office's website at www.usdoj.gov/usao/can.

All press inquiries to the U.S. Attorney's Office should be directed to Assistant U.S. Attorney Matthew J. Jacobs at (415) 436-7181.

November 19, 2003

Journalist exposes lapse in Bush security

My question is this - Why did the first story I've seen on this matter online come from Al Jazeera?!?!? LAME

A British journalist posing as a member of staff in Buckingham Palace has raised concerns over security surrounding George Bush's visit to the UK. [Al Jazeera (english)]

And Now For Something Completely Stupid

Need health insurance? If your name is on the government "Terrorist Watch List" you ain't going to get it. In a stunningly stupid illogical quagmire of complete bulloney, CNN reports that the Treasury Dept. is telling major insurers like Blue Cross, Aetna, etc. that the only way they can be sure of complying with a Shrub Executive Order prohibiting property rights to terrorists, is to go through the database and deny health insurance to those listed there.

Well how ridiculous is that? Forget for a minute that it's essentially guilt until proven innocent, forget that it targets Moslem Americans, and forget that it's downright unfair. Think, for a minute, since most of the 9/11 terrorists were relatively rich guys (or were supported by relatively rich guys) are they really going to CARE? How is this going to hurt the REAL terrorists? Does this make ANY sense at all? How many millions of dollars are being lost by going through these lists? Can someone who is WRONGLY placed on this list ever get off of it?

Don't we have other things we can be doing? Like maybe finding Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein? Or are we planning on finding them after they complain they've been denied health insurance, or a job as a Walmart janitor?

November 17, 2003

Mail SUCKS!!!

I am SO disappointed with Apple's Mail. Since Panther came out, I have been getting serious crashes and otherwise nasty difficulties with. Anyone who knows me knows that I've used Macs since 1984, and have basically been an Apple apologist for ages. I WANT to use Apple's Mail. I REALLY REALLY DO.

So it pains me to say that Mail SUCKS. Truly SUCKS. I've posted to Apple's discussion lists and have received NO useful feedback. I've tried and tried, but still have no real hope that Mail will ever be fixed to the point where it will work properly with large IMAP mailboxes.

So I started looking for an alternate mail client. Oh what a PAINFUL HEADACHE that is. Eudora - significant difficulties in setting it up to work properly. It still does not pick up one of my accounts. I sent email to tech support and have received NO response. PowerMail. Same issue. Mulberry - UGLIEST UI in existence, same issue, but I JUST sent them a support request. Let's see if it helps. Entourage - same issue but I don't think I can take the time to wait for Microsoft to talk to me. Feh.

Now I must scream :-)

November 16, 2003

Activists Plan Fight for Marine Mammals

So why does the Navy feel it's ok to leave marine mammals unprotected, and subject to their whim? Maybe because they strap dolphins up to electronics and make them go find mines? They probably don't want to be held to the same standard as the rest of the US. Grrrr.

The Navy won a backroom congressional victory last week that allows it to get out from under laws that protect whales, dolphins and other marine mammals, but in the process it touched off what could be a bruising battle over the future of one of the nation's most popular environmental measures. [Washington Post: Nation and Politics]

November 14, 2003

Brother of Shrub, Just as Dumb

From Morons dot org. Apropos, no?

Jeb Bush has a history of opening his mouth and having stupid things come out of it; his latest spew is that residents of San Francisco may be "endangered"...

You might recall that last year, Jeb Bush told some of his associates that two women involved in a child disappearance were lesbians (they were actually sisters). His comments drew immediate fire from gay rights groups and people with functioning cerebrums for pulling crass, locker-room humor out of his nether-region in regard to a case of a missing child.

I'm pleased to report that Jeb's made an ass of himself again. Here's his comment this time: "It looks like the people of San Francisco are an endangered species, which may not be a bad thing. That's probably good news for the country."

This time the subject of conversation was environmental protection and Bush was showing a map of locations of wildlife.

I'd just like to point out that the Gross Metropolitan Product of San Francisco (2001) is $113.1 billion, and that the Gross State Product (that is, for the entire state) of Florida (2001) is $491 billion. That is to say, Jeb's entire state produces only a little over 4 times what the small city of San Francisco produces. (San Francisco's GDP is also more than the GDPs of Singapore and New Zealand.) I don't think it would be "good for the country" if such a city's population went extinct, do you?

Bush went on to ask, "did I say that out loud?" (I'm not making that up).

Yes, you did. And boy do you ever look stupid for it.

---Nick

November 11, 2003

Post-9/11 Visa Rules Keep Thousands From Coming to U.S.

So, while we grant illegal aliens in California and Massachusetts drivers licenses, organ transplants before Americans, let their kids go to our schools, and let them work at WalMart, the ones that will actually GENERATE INCOME for the US through tourism or by paying for their medical care, get excluded. Yeah, sure makes a ton of sense to me. Right.

AUSTIN -- More than two years after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, a thicket of new rules governing the granting of visas to foreigners is dissuading thousands of people from coming to the United States and generating protests from research universities, medical institutions, multinational corporations and the travel industry. [Washington Post: Front Page]

November 10, 2003

Moscow and Tehran are partners in the struggle against terrorism

Does this make anyone else nervous? Egads!!

Russia welcomes Iran's intention to intensify the struggle against terrorism, announced RF Foreign Minister Igor Ivanov after the meeting with Secretary of Iran's National Security Council Hasan Rohani. "The fact that Iranian authorities have arrested more than 500 al-Qaeda members indicates that Iran is serious about this work," the RF minister said [Pravda.RU: World]

November 06, 2003

Will the Nigerian Spams Stop?

They arrested one of the lame asses today, and hopefully this will send a message to all the other spammers out there. Let's round em ALL up.

From The Globe and Mail

Danbury, Conn. — A Connecticut woman, fed up with suspicious e-mail pitches promising millions, is taking credit for helping catch a Canadian man accused of fraud.

Like many other e-mail recipients, Heide Evans received numerous messages purporting to be from Nigeria and promising millions of dollars.

Unlike others who simply delete the e-mails, Ms. Evans said she led the U.S. Secret Service and Bethel police to Nicholas Horvath-Howard, 24, of Toronto, who met her hoping to receive a reward.

“Over several months, I managed to convince them I was gullible enough to go along with them, and surprise of surprises, they were stupid enough to send a messenger to see me to collect the money,” Ms. Evans told The News-Times of Danbury, Conn.

Ms. Evans met Mr. Horvath-Howard in Bethel, where she said he expected to pick up more than $200,000 (U.S.). Instead, police were waiting for Mr. Horvath-Howard and charged him with first-degree attempted larceny.

Mr. Horvath-Howard was arraigned in Danbury Superior Court on Monday. Bond was set at $250,000 and his case was continued until Nov. 10.

Dean Seeks to Silence Critics With Apology for Flag Remark

Oh man...what a stupid thing to say! Howard, how COULD you?

Former Vermont governor Howard Dean, hoping to stomp out a growing controversy over race, said yesterday that he regretted any "pain" he caused by saying he wanted to "be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks." [Washington Post: Nation and Politics]

Why anti-US fighting grows in Iraq

This is a really great story that gets right down to the heart of the matter. Many Iraqis are speaking with their stomachs. People tend to get very angry when there is no food on the table. The idea that "we didn't like Saddam, but at least then we could eat" is quite relevant here. Perhaps the US should shift focus.

The ranks of Iraqis who resist the American occupation swell ever larger. [Christian Science Monitor: All Stories]

Will someone give these people a LIFE?

As if we didn't have more important things to worry about...

Parent and consumer groups take on Toys R Us for its glamorous portrayal of drug use, in the form of a CGI giraffe accidentally "huffing" helium [Morons Dot Org]

November 05, 2003

White House Told To Justify Secrecy

This could be an interesting fight between the judicial and executive branches of our government. It will be quite interesting to watch Ashcroft attempt to wiggle out of this one.

The Supreme Court announced yesterday that it wants the Bush administration to defend the secrecy that enveloped lower federal courts' proceedings involving one of the 1,200 Arab and Muslim men detained by federal authorities after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. [Washington Post: Nation and Politics]

Deported Terror Suspect Details Torture in Syria

Is this what our country stands for? Is there any possible benefit to the United States in sending people to hostile governments where we know they'll be tortured? Just remember, this isn't a war on Islam. Sure it isn't....

TORONTO, Nov. 4 -- A Canadian citizen who was detained last year at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York as a suspected terrorist said Tuesday he was secretly deported to Syria and endured 10 months of torture in a Syrian prison. [Washington Post: Front Page]

November 01, 2003

Fox nearly sued itself over 'Simpsons' parody:...

DOH!



Fox nearly sued itself over 'Simpsons' parody: Matt Groening

Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel threatened to sue the makers of "The Simpsons" over a parody of the channel's right-wing political stance, the creator of the hit US television show has claimed.

In an interview this week with National Public Radio, Matt Groening recalled how the news channel had considered legal action, despite the fact that "The Simpsons" is broadcast on sister network, Fox Entertainment.

According to Groening, Fox took exception to a Simpsons' version of the Fox News rolling news ticker which parodied the channel's anti-Democrat stance, with headlines like "Do Democrats Cause Cancer?"

"Fox fought against it and said they would sue the show," Groening said.

"We called their bluff because we didn't think Rupert Murdoch would pay for Fox to sue itself. So, we got away with it." ... (AFP)

dobra muzika: Rare Requests is a compilation of smooth jazz that Most Especially includes a superb uptempoish remix of Dave Brubeck's Take Five by XL (Eric Singleton). [from the terminal of Geoff Goodfellow]